Review: Jupiter Ascending (2015)

jupiter ascending review

Remember The Matrix? how amazing was that movie? The Wachowskis were pretty much two of the most promising filmmakers on the planet in 1999. What followed after were two unnecessary sequels that never even came close to the first one and since then the sibling duo has been making middling to abysmal movies that have failed to match The Matrix in any way. Till now, I thought they couldn’t make a movie worse than Speed Racer, Enter: Jupiter Ascending.

Jupiter-Ascending Jupiter Ascending follows the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), a girl who finds out about her destiny as a heiress of intergalactic nobility and with the help of a genetically engineered ex-military hunter (Tatum) must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.

Jupiter Ascending is perhaps the shining example of the fact that the Wachowskis have in fact lost it. The film is a misjudgment of style and substance, by which I mean, it has neither style nor substance. The screenplay is downright terrible, and the movie is basically a poorly written mishmash of Star Wars and Cinderella. The dialogue is at times laughable and the film itself has it’s fair share of unintentionally funny moments.


Aesthetically this movie is terrible to look at, the production design is bland, the costumes are grotesque. I’m sorry but things like this matter to me when I’m watching a Sci-Fi. The performances are nothing special whatsoever. Mila Kunis is phoning it in as Jupiter Jones, Channing Tatum, who looks like a product of a splicing experiment between a human and a goblin is pretty much just saying his lines, and then there’s Eddie Redmayne. Hot off his oscar win from The Theory of Everything, Redmayne is appalling as the villain Balem Abramax. I had to see the end-credits to confirm if it was really him. Expect him to lock a razzie nomination for Worst Supporting Actor next year. The only strong point about this movie are the visual effects and for that I thank the CGI department who made this movie watchable for about 15 minutes.

All together, Jupiter Ascending lives up to the very little expectations I had for this movie. It’s dull, boring, poorly written and terrible to look at. Eddie Redmayne is one of the worst things about the movie with his scenery chewing performance as the antagonist. The visual effects are the only redeeming quality about all in all, it’s one of the worst movies of the year and by far the worst thing the Wachowskis ever made.




4 responses to “Review: Jupiter Ascending (2015)

  1. The Wachowskis really do need to get their mojo back, I think the only thing this movie has going for it, is that it’s a original idea. Good review


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